It is my first class today. Alright, this is NOT actually my first teaching. But this is my first class as a faculty member.
I teach Calculus 1 this semester. I started to prepare the course in July. I read through the textbook twice. I prepared the first lecture from this weekend. And I had a mock teaching twice before I went to the classroom. But, when I went into the classroom I was totally overwhelmed.
I stood in front of classroom 5 mins before the class began. The door was closed. From the window of the door I saw the students sitting quietly in the classroom. They really filled the whole room. The door was in the front of the classroom, just beside the blackboard. I could not see if there was anybody in the front from outside. I could only see the students. It looked like for me that there was someone teaching in the classroom! But who else would be teaching at this time? It was the time of my class! I opened the door slightly, but I saw nobody was on the stage. At that moment I figured out, that the students were waiting for me! So quietly! All the students were already in the classroom, and I was THE TEACHER!
That was a mixed feeling. I do not usually get anxious in front of my class if I am well prepared. But at that moment, I felt that I was anxious. I greeted to my class right away, did self-introduction. Then, for a little bit moment, my brain was blank... I had no idea what I should say! What did I prepare this week for this lecture? I was anxious!
Thankfully, the blank moment didn't last for long. I looked over my checklist, and continued my topics: grading, syllabus, etc.
Once I entered the real content, I gradually felt comfortable. My confidence went back. The students were really good, as people told me before I was in this position. They raised their hand, and gave me feedback whenever I had a question to them. They had eye contact with me, smiling, nodding or shaking heads as the lecture went. So I was proud and enjoyed. The proud was not from my good preparation, it was only because I had such wonderful students.
Most of my students are freshmen. This reminds me the first class I sit in my college classroom. How curious and willing to learn I was at that time. Now I face my class, as a teacher, teaching the first and almost the most important course in their college life. I can imagine how curious and nervous they are as I was before. This keeps me remind that I should be clear and straightforward when I explain the materials. I should inspire them and be patient. I should not disappoint them, or fade away there learning enthusiasm. That is what an educator's responsibility.
